hierbinich

Ich war ein bisschen skeptisch, ob ich den neuen Roman von Jonathan Safran Foer, „Hier bin ich“, lesen will – irgendwo hatte ich eine eher schlechte Kritik gesehen. Nach der Lesung im großen Sendesaal des rbb am Dienstagabend will ich mir das Buch nun auf jeden Fall zulegen. So witzig waren die vorgelesenen Passagen.

Hier kann man die Lesung und das Gespäch mit Jonathan Safran Foer nachhören. Interessant und klug fand ich, was Foer über die Frage denkt, warum sich Menschen, die mit den besten Absichten eine Beziehung eingehen, auseinanderentwickeln und scheiden lassen: 

„George Harrison’s wife – the Beatle – was asked how they were able to stay married for 50 years. And she said: ‚By not getting divorced‘. And, it sounds like a joke, but I think it’s the response to a mysterious problem, it’s a kind of stubborn will.

It’s not giving anything away to say that Jacob and Julia get divorced, you learn it quite early in the book. And toward the end of the book Jacob attends Julia’s second wedding and he says, what do you tell people when they ask why we got divorced? And she says, well, I just tell them we were really just good friends, and good coparents and we respect each other. And he said, doesn’t that sound like a reason not to get divorced? And she says, yes, you know I have a hard time explaining it. (…) And he says, what do you tell yourself? And she says, I tell myself that we got divorced because that’s what we did. And it’s not a tautology, it’s not circular.

Some people choose to have certain options on the table, and other people choose not to have those options on the table. And if you choose to have the option of falling apart available, you’ll reach for it. (…) In a way the mistery isn’t exactly why do they begin to withhold from one another and why did they find this increasing distance growing between them, because I think – and I’m sure that there’s someone in here saying, no you’re absolutely wrong, I’m in a perfect relationship, I dont know what you’re talking about, I’ve actually yet to meet that person. I think it’s a nearly universal quality of relationships that you have to battle against distances and battle against withholding and measuring (…). The mystery is not so much why does a universal truth happen, but why do people respond to it in different ways.“